NSFW

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You have been warned

I was just looking on the internet and I came across something that I need clarified. Can someone please tell me, what the fuck does UFC have to do with poker?! Why the fuck do I have to watch poker to get SPORTS SCORES on a fucking SPORTS CHANNEL?! Who the fuck made poker the national past time of the internet? Why the fuck are there "poker stars"? Why the fuck are they allowed to wear sunglasses? Isn't the whole fucking point of poker a person's ability to watch for tells and not reveal their own? This is the equivalent of putting a piece of plywood in front of a hockey net and saying, "Well we don't want the fucking puck going in do we?" I honestly don't understand why the fuck poker is on television! Why can't I watch a farm team hockey game instead of a fucking table game?! I'd rather watch Dubai Sport's camel racing then watch some fucking douche who looks like Jesus with sunglasses and a cowboy hat on stare at the dealer's cards for 3 hours. I can't go onto the internet without getting ads for some fucking poker site. I ask again, Isn't the whole fucking point of poker a person's ability to watch for tells and not reveal their own? Play fucking solitaire, it comes with your fucking computer! Fuck poker!