The Condomdrum

Condomdrum def: (noun) A question of morals as they relate to prophylactics.

While spending time ignoring costumer as my job (in all fairness I do work for minimum wage in a dead-end job that I was forced to take to pay for that damnable degree of mine) I was bored enough pick up my copy of "song book" by that fellow who wrote high fidelity and such like. While perusing the various 'essays' I stumbled across the sort of spirit wrenching artifact of high school shame that one truly hopes to never encounter beyond the age of 18. A condom wrapper- one that I simply know that the younger me had placed within the pages of an essay about Ani Difranco's "You Had Time" and Amy Mann's "I've Had It." Now the younger me, I must admit was a tad bit of a symbolist I'm sure he would have approved of such an asinine term as a "romantic/emotional symbolist." Thats all well and good I suppose, we all tend to move beyond those sort of stages. Now my condomdrum is that I have clearly betrayed any faith the younger me would have invested in myself some 3-5 years down the line, since I can not for the life of me remember why I would want to put a condom wrapper probably used in relations with some young lady in that particular essays, especially given one is a break up song and the other I don't particularly like. Now the second question is a bit more concerning, I have absolutely no idea who I was sleeping with at the time I was reading said book. I can tell you what I was listening to all that week when I read it (Constantines- Shine a light, possibly my favorite album of all time.) I can even tell you it was some time in the summer or fall of 2004. Even when I brought this up to Andymac we could not think of any way of sorting out the names on my short list into some cohesive time line with the amount of time between the purchasing of said book and it becoming filler for the bottom of my closet.

Well with that in mind I suppose I owe an open apology to those few young ladies who lives became intertwined with me during those years between 1999 and 2006. I'm particularly sorry if you thought I was pretty great based on those attributes that I have tried to ween myself off of. Lastly I apologize to my younger self for betraying him thusly... but in all fairness he was a pretty big jackass. My first entry on the mixed tape is for all of them above.