Pushing down the garbage

Appologies and love all,

myself and the andymac have both been working new labour intensive jobs for the last week and have been lazy pieces of lazy in the evenings, so posts have suffered, but I do so pledge that there shall be posts galour once we get back with the payback, huack

The Next Level For Love

So to catch everyone up on the situation. McKelvie and I were working together today and I was talking about relations with my girlfriend (not unheard of) and he looks at me and asks "So did you give her the holocaust?". To which I replied "What's that?" and he says "I don't know but it sounds like an awesome sex move."
Now we came up with some theories and ideas of what this sex move/position/activity would actually be and came up with some funny stuff. So now we ask you, the reading public to help us out. Help us design "The Holocaust" by sending us your ideas and senarios either as comments here or you can send them to frink5@shaw.ca. We're not out to change the world and chances are this will NEVER be tried ever so let your imaginations run wild and make it interesting. Some ideas we threw out was that it should be a crime against humanity and that bonus points would be awarded for the police or the U.N. getting involved or just throwing on a gas mask. And to appease the P.E.T.A. people no animals can be harmed either during the creative process or during the act itself.

Home

Home is where we feel comfortable, surrounded by the familiar experiences of our youth. So once again sitting around with McKelvie and the Flatmate, watching the Habs win and just talking about things that could never be true. During an internet search for pictures of a certain aspect of anime we come across something very disturbing and funny. Lets just say an octopus was involved. This then led to the classic Cnev interpretation/fantasy that left us all hurting with laughter and vomit. Our souls were hurt by this experience but it was one of those things that lets me know that i'm home, contact me for further details if you're interested.

Pre and ProBiotics?!

I've had my ear to the ground for a while, just soaking in all the "Healthy" "Bio" "Vitality" "Plus" food commercials on television. It must be some of that lingering run off of the baby boomers, but please, I see the word healthy, and I hear tasteless. I think maybe I am supposed to be buying into these commercials... nope... not quite working... sorry.

"Singles" chocolate bars and those mini 100 calorie cans of pop. For the 30 something women that these products are trying to appeal to, I have 2 words-- Self Control. I know the companies are still trying to make money while the witch hunt scrambles for another enemy in the post Super Size Me world of healthier ways of doing as little as possible to get fed. I know companies are lowering those net weights and raising those prices as the healthy alternative to the Mr. 2 Big chocolate bars.

Even the Mr. 2 Big bars have gotten smaller, I remember buying one from my buddies little sister as part of a fund raiser and that chocolate bar being as long as my arm. Now they are just barely more than a Mr. Big from 7 years ago. As packages get smaller and inflation becomes greater the only people who are getting hosed are the chumps that are willing to pay 50% more for 30% of the original product.

Here is where the whole healthy foods thing takes its unexpected turn for me personally. I am a big fan of yogurt. Always have been, of course if someone would have told me it was healthy when I was younger I may not have, but anyways. I like yogurt. I read in a David Suzuki book a long time ago that there are good bacteria in yogurt, and cheeses, and cottage cheese, sour cream and such. But thats what we called them. Good Bacterias. As a kid I considered myself a conqueror of worlds with every spoonfull of living organisms. They were just little squiggly guys with sour looks on their faces.
Then this commercial comes along, I cant remember which brand of fad yogurt it was. (Trail Mix of the Double Ots) But there it was, "Now with PROBIOTIC cultures", probiotics something that I knew was in the yogurt all along was fatefully discovered by marketing relations and branded Probiotic to make it sound scientifically infused, this term preferred over the older, less appealing, "good bacteria". Then I see another commercial, and this one has been nagging on my brain for some time. 2 thirtysomethings standing in their posh yoga clothes and the girl in yellow mentions that not only does Yoplait YO+ have Probiotic (Good bacterium) but also prebiotic cultures... PRE?! wha? pre usually means before. So this yogurt, to put in terms everyone can understand... including me. contains material that will become life, like a primordial ooze, or possibly eggs? Wait a minute, didn't I see this episode of Futurama? Where fry eats the egg salad sandwhich out of the truckstop bathroom? And then all the parasites take over his body...

Im not insane I pledge

4th night in a row of insane dreams, last night I was pitted in a deadly game of wits against yegway, who in the end I ninja'd up good with a 2X4 because it seemed easiest...

so yeggy hurry up and come north for a visit

A dream in 10 words

Pirates, dragons eye in ceiling, world largest newt, coke bible... thats how a dream should be, maybe I should stupid taking supplements right before bed

Victory is Exit 4

At this exact moment I would dare say I would be willing to sell my soul and possibly even the roommates soul for a fine cigar and a tumbler of Scotch of the not too peaty maybe slightly vanilla-ish on the finish. I would also like to wrestler a polar bear, and perhaps sleep in for a whole day. Now why the hell must so many delicious and fun things be anti- good life style choices. I will say this however, there is nothing better that really pushing yourself in a work out, or dropping 5 pounds, or getting a compliment because of said hard work from someone unexpected... All that said of course, I would gladly sell my soul for that tumbler and cigar... Talisker D.E. is a sexy sexy drink

To Point B

I started to think about the fad drinks I’ve been sucked into over the past 23 years of product consuming. Since the day that I realized that my favourite flavour was a synthetic blend of chemicals (Blue Raspberry) I’ve been on the lookout for a real new flavour. Those highschool years were very confusing times. I would dare say that the energy drink came of age while I was at the peak age of impulse spending. I still remember what I said when the Gypsy asked me what Snapple fire tasted like, and I replied, “like thorns” but still I drank it. Until they discontinued the Snapple elements, I drank it. There was of course also the SoBe plague, there must’ve been something addictive in that stuff. I still don’t know how I paid $3 for chocolate milk that contained no chocolate… or milk!
I remember my all time favourite fad flavour, went by the name Pepsi Blue. I drank that stuff till my lips were purple. Holiday Spice Pepsi, actually pretty good, the 99 cent price tag made it all the better. Code Red Mountain Dew, I didn’t really like it, but I drank it anyways. Mr. Pibb, Dr Pepper’s only true competition in the totally awesome non root beer category. Yoohoo, more non chocolatey non milky simulated beverage product. Vitamin Water, my advice is RUN! Except for the pomegranate blueberry, Tasting like the blue part of blue fish candies. Finally – Coke Plus, in which I reach my point. Or at least A point, since the beginning of time (apparently) man has been searching for a supplement for milk, which comes in a carbonated sugar water beverage with simulated cola bean flavour. This I think could be the epitome of Carbonated Beverages, it truly has all the positive properties of milk. Which is downright scary. But the battle couldn’t end here, trapped between $4 energy drinks and simulated cola milk lay a true niche, one that will be filled for the first time since, what, The 50’s?

Now now now, the word has come down through the wire that Red Bull is currently producing a cola, to be released sometime in the near future. This cola will contain all natural extracts from both the kola bean, and the coca leaf (the raw material for the manufacture of cocaine) Coke claims to use a decocaineized extract. But Redbull’s website claims all natural. No real word yet on this. But Redbull and Cola, sure Redbull may have legal drugs in their drinks. But Canada was the only country producing a drink with balls!

A Modest Proposal part I

Behold! This summer's livestrong-esque fad, Tees made of garbage. Coke is teaming up with Walmart to recycle hundreds of millions of coke bottles into kick ass tees with not so terrible phrases on them, "Rehash your Trash". I think I might have to get one just to see what it feels like, now if they can start making t shirts out of Pino's bags, then we'd be getting somewhere! At no frills and food basics you have to pay for the bags, I guess thats why we see less of them than Pino's. This is kinda a step in the right direction, as long as they don't feel like you are wearing a scour pad or a tent. I can't see it being that breathable, I'll look for one next time I'm across

Thanks to Steph for the tip

The force behind windows XP

OMG, if you're running XP there's a secret program hidden in your dos by the windows programers.
1 - go to run in your start menu
2 - type in cmd
3 - enter
4 - when the dos promt comes up type - telnet towel.blinkenlights.nl
5 - then hit enter and watch the best movie ever
do it

Boxers do it... harder, longer, faster, everythinger

Got on the scale this morning... the numbers look pretty good. The good mojo however from weighing in at 148lbs, is well tempered today. Last night I ventured down to ye ol' boxing club. Basically got my ass kicked again and again and again by their cardio-ocity. But I like to think I didn't completely shame myself. I answer every bell that I could (I think I missed one bacause I was learning to wrap my hands) and when the bell stopped ringing I went a couple more rounds, I decided to run a shuttle run with some of the boxers, I did alright finished 3rd out of 5 so at least I outlasted 2 of them. I even threw in some weights at the end because although I was already exhausted I had that feeling of unstoppableness that I get when I've really pushed myself. Now all this is really awesome, with one exception. Rolling out of bed this morning felt like as if I was gut shot, this morning every muscle in my body hates me, and I am glad I have nothing to do today but relax... but it will all be worth it if I manage to answer that first bell tomorrow night.

If anyone would like directions to the Sault's local boxing gym just send me a message and Ill get you all the info you need....

Behold the wonder of flaming ammunition!

Design 2, with pitch ball loaded. I will be working on my 1/4 scale model starting on Friday, once my exams are done.

If mario lived with a pony

for talent press 1 at the tone

What can I say, I have always had a thing for talented girls. And have been particularly blessed to have crossed paths with many (including that gorgeous, ambitious, much smarter than me, one who currently puts up with my quirks) talented young women. I have twice dated young ladies who have shamed me photographically with the awesomeness. It was even easier to out do me for the young lady from the University of Toronto who had more music in one finger that my feeble fists could pound out in my entire life. Most shockingly I have even been out eccentricized in the fields of spirituality, in fact it was a young lady who convinced me that perhaps dragons really do exist, based wholly in their place in common ancestral memory. With all this in mind I would like to encourage you all to take a look at the webcomic and graphic design work of the very talented Jenny Romanchuk who I have had the sincere pleasure of having had coffee with once or twice. The comic is full of zombielicious goodness and her graphic design work is the stuff of jealousy...

peace

The band - the weight

I don't know how many of you have had the opportunity to head down to London, On on a Monday night much less come onto the campus of the University of Western Ontario. Well, if you ever get the chance I suggest you try to relive my night tonight. I entered a fantasy hockey pool and drafted my team at the Wave and then moved down to the Spoke. It was 2.75 pint night on domestics and additionally I had 450 dollars hanging in the balance. I also had the pleasure of hearing a Western staple in Rick McGhee. It proved the perfect background music too a classic NCAA final. You see I was relying on Kansas pulling out a W and all seemed on course when they were up by five at half...but alas in the second half they fell behind by as much as 9 and then a miracle happened. After cutting the lead to two points Kansas fouled Memphis. The first free throw shooter missed both shots but still I thought my pool was lost when Memphis grabbed the rebound...but after a quick foul Memphis conspired to go 1/2 from the line leaving the game open with ten seconds left. And up steps Mario Chalmers and hits a fade away three point bucket with a man draped all over his face. Needless to say the game went to overtime Kansas won and I got drunk...capping off a perfect night and netting me 450 dollars in the process. Oh and I also won my regular season fantasy hockey pool.
Now all I need to do is buy a lottery ticket and bet on the Arsenal-Liverpool game...
Well peace out from down south and until next time remember sports betting can pay your liquor bill through university / college....but if by your team winning your muscular friend loses it's best not to go to his apartment and gloat...
- Yiggles supporting a black eye reporting

Summer Movie Preview... part one

Even seeing still images of this computer generated nightmare is causing mild seizures. Man I love hollywood, and I love movies. Someday someone will realize that people want a movie which they can become lost in through storytelling AND convincing special effects until then I guess we are settling on one or the other. Speed Racer... chances are neither.

Siege Engine Summer Project

Hopefully this bad boy will be up and running by the May long weekend or the likes. Its gonna be a challenge, but if the other fictional characters are behind us... We can move ahead. So, submitted for approval, Design # 1!

We Hardly Knew Ye!

The words on the picture pretty much sum up my thoughts on the man. Cool guy, scruffy and hard, like a classic hollywood actor should be. Those eyebrows, like caterpillars, and that jaw, like Iron. Of course I am writing this because today he passed on, at the ripe old age of 84. Hell of a long run for an NRA spokesman. He won an Oscar in 1959 for Ben Hur, a Christmas day staple, when someone forgets the copy of Jason and the Argonauts. Of course the role of his most dominant in my mind is Planet of the Apes, I know the movie is pure cheese by modern standards but I still love it, shoes that Markey Mark didn't even come close to filling. In our age of antiheros we will likely never see a powerful figure like the one Heston was every day of his life. May god rest his soul.

p.s. With all our 3 hour movies about hobbits and Oil barrons becoming the norm, Go out and rent one of Heston's kick ass epics They'll put hair on your ass!

The Gypsy said Dance

last night, it was my profound pleasure to play monkey to a very talented friend. He asked me to read a part in a short play he had wrote for some poetry night at the university. It was a really weird sort of night, I mean there was cheap jack daniels, but at the same time alot of moody poetry. I dare say, of course speaking with the understanding that I know nothing of poetry, that the beatnics killed poetry. It may not have been the beatnics, it may have been some other group that my lack of historical understanding prevents me from identifying. what ever happened to poems about trees, or paintings of people, or even these things that are of these things but not about them. I half suspect in our generation shall be the "est" generation, or so we will claim. Richest, Smartest, Sexiest, we will also wish to be the saddest, oppress-est, deepest,, we will in the end up of course the weakest, the lamest. I sincerely hope that we as a generation succeed in merely being passable, I think that the sort of goal we should be shooting for.

Ok, so back from rambling. The Gypsy is one hell of a writer, nay of a thinker, in the most honest meaning of the idea. I truly hope that at some point he decides to get some of those ideas out there for all you internesters and better still that other side of you that may occasionally read a book. Until than you are stuck with me and my hate of Jackson Pollock and Robert Pinsky and all...

Ok thats a lie, I really love Robert Pinsky and Jackson Pollock, they are fabulous even if their works represent what my generation is peddling as its own sincerity...

and anymac even spread a little language like marmalade, hopefully he decides to share with you all..

peace,
MK

Photo transfers

Am I Retarded?

yes yes i am...

tonight while at work, not working, in fact doing the thing i do best at work, listening to the CBC. I had the most retarded idea. It started because the cbc program was talking to a guy who is spending the rest of his life on the shore of Loch Ness watching. Now at some point in the conversation the interviewer said "This mythical creature most people don't believe exists..." I may very well have blurted out "What the hell is wrong with these people" I was actually offended, it seemed for an instant in my pitiful little mind like they were denying the existence of gravity or dinosaurs. "Of course she exists" by now the costumer who was a rather good looking young lady seemed to think that I must be about to jump over the counter and attempt to eat her face. of course by now I had started to realize the futility of my argument "given she doesn't really exist."

Also my darling, let me know the little known fact that either nessy is a female, or a 42 year old balding male hairstylist with a lisp who's defining characteristic is they are asexual...

wiggity wham wham wazzle

Mckelvie Photo from the archive

Aluminum Salad and Women's Army Issue Panties

Tom Selleck wants you to go RVing! There is this thing about the three of us, Mckelvie, The Flatmate and me, some sort of strange virtual black hole of intelligence. Smarts seem to go in reverse, but somehow, not really. Things do come out of the barrage of insults hurled at the TV. Most is just crap, some goes on the wall, most just gets lost. "Holy $#!T, did you see that Dodge Viper harpoon that dude on the motorcycle!" or "Kick her in the face with your, ENERGY LEGS!"
Good times... Good times...

D-Rams II : Revenge of the $1 Cereal

we have a new addition to the d-rams family of budget cereal

what the hell is a loquacious

Dear Sault Ste. Marie,

loquacious- not shutting up

Today for some reason that was not my problem. Which is odd because I can be one hell of a yappy jerk, pretty much obnoxiously so. Sometimes I talk about things that I don't know anything about. I'm pretty sure I've lectured my brother about the finer points of cricket instead of answering his simple question of what to get our mother for mothers day. Whats worse is that I quite often talk with out even realizing it and its never interesting or intellegent, which basically decides who I have consistent human relations with. Since it takes a very peculiar person to listen to me ramble on with conviction and sincerity about for instance which is better blue or yellow fin tuna, only to stop mid-sentence and look bewildered at them when they ask "but which tastes best?" At this point in the exchange I tend to just ignore them until they suspect that I'm an jerk, or possibly retarded. Possibly I am, both, or maybe a sociopath but not a fun Batman-esc superhero kind of sociopath but rather someone who has sniffed too much silver polish, and has a bad tendency to yell at the top of his lungs inches from your face while you are trying to correct their use of the word "tenacious"... back to my original point about today. Today I didn't want to speak, I was all hushed up like so many puppies. I was quite content to not make a sound at all. Not because I was sad, or didn't have anything to say, more like I was just kinda quiet and was really enjoying it. Too bad I had to work and apparently costumers don't like the silent treatment, which makes me question my intelligence since they quite often criticize my inappropriate work place banter about Charlie Sheen's wang. So it is with sad recognition that I acknowledge the fact that this may have been the only day in my life when I would have not offended/critically annoyed someone, possibly cured me for all time of my psychological imbalances.
Well you all had your chance to enjoy my presence without the inane rambling, and you ruined it. So who really is the jerk in this dichotomy?

sincerely,
McKelvie

P.S.- you smell but I still like you